Friday, 15 April 2011

I Get It, Honestly I Do

I dedicate this blog to my Auntie, who was also my godmother. She and her husband understood the writer side of me and never pressurised me to read anything I spent hours scribbling away writing in my little notepad.

First I will start with my big confession, I'll put my hand up and admit it.

What is my big confession, well here it is:

Like so many out there I had plans of becoming a romance novelist as a child and teenager. Yup, you read right, a romance writer.

Like so many of us out there I find myself approaching the big FOUR-OH, it deserves capital letters really, and I haven't attempted to fulfil this dream ... desire ... plan ... however you would describe it really.

I firmly believe that first and foremost you have to want to write because you can't not write. Also no-one can expect their books to make them into the next millionaire writer, very few authors can support themselves on the profits books bring in let alone become independently wealthy doing it. Money although required to live shouldn't  be your only reason for writing.

Events of the past few weeks have led me to believe that my godmother (and probably my uncle, other aunt and grandmother if I know them at all!) have been giving me a push back into the write direction. Get it write instead of right?! I know romantic comedies are not in my future.

It all really begins at the beginning of the year. I have the overwhelming urge to create my own book blog. I did this and loved it but didn't put myself 'out there' in the book blog community. I quietly posted to my new blog and finally got around to posting my first ever review.

On a whim last Friday I decided it was time to put myself out there, in the world of the other book bloggers who have been and still are my inspiration when I chose to become a book blogger. I joined in the Friday blog hop hosted by Parajunkee's View. An activity that I repeated today as well. This resulted in me getting my first followers and directly interacting with other book bloggers. I was pleasantly surprised at how this experience played out, I enjoyed it enough to repeat it as I mentioned. I hope to continue participating as time allows.

Back to my reasoning as to how I'm sure my Auntie is guiding me back into actively writing. I was an active fanfiction writer and even ran two archives devoted to particular ships (pairing of characters) within the fandoms of Diagnosis Murder and Angel: The Series. But have drifted away from this over recent years as my life interfered and my interests changed.

I firmly believe those we have lost in the mortal realm don't really leave us. They are there when we need then and can feel us when we think about them. They are also there to meddle, friendly like, when they feel the need to and I am led to believe my Auntie felt this need.

About three weeks ago I got side tracked, which is nothing new for me, by a post on another blog which led me to Josh Lanyon's book Man Oh Man: Writing M/M Fiction For Kinks & Cash. I downloaded a sample to my Kindle and really enjoyed the way he talked to the reader, so to speak. This was no dry how to book, which promised to make you into the next ... well Josh Lanyon.

This led me to seek out other similar books, after reading digital samples where they were available I gave into the temptation and purchased Kate Walker's two latest updated versions of her popular guide books for readers and writers of romantic fiction alike. I also bought Josh's eBook as well as I found the sample such an enjoyable read and more than a little funny in places.

Saturday night, in bed, I skimmed through Kate's books while winding down from a busy day. I found myself wanting to take a few notes which didn't work out on my small iPod screen with it's apps, so I began searching for a notepad knowing that I should have several partly used A4 refill pads squirrelled away in my bedroom. Having no luck I reluctantly gave up and hoped I didn't loose the ideas for my blog that had come to mind.

Sunday saw me searching around my desk in our living room and in other places where surplus stationary and other supplies often get put. No luck finding any refill pads of any type, frustrating as I'm generally tripping over them every time I turn around. At least it feels this way sometimes.

After having no luck by Tuesday I decided after dropping my parents off at their appointments I could swing by our local Staples store and pick up a cheap pad of paper. I was shocked at the price asked even for their 'budget' brand paper and unwilling to pay the price tags I opted to pop into the supermarket over the other side of the shopping estate and get some groceries so I hadn't wasted a trip out there.

Going into the supermarket I found that they were selling their own A4 Refill pads in a pack of 3 for £1 more than the cost of 1 pad at Staples of the same size and more than £6 under their economy bundle of the same number of pads.

At home my Father, returning home at the same time as me, helped me in with my shopping bags and upon seeing the notepads asked, "Didn't you already have several of these?". I explained I was sure I had more than several pads floating around but they were hiding and playing hard to get but would turn up now I had replaced them. Another reason I didn't want to pay a high price of a refill pad in the first place.

He then went out and checked our garden shed of all things and came back with two carrier bags, one of which was full of half empty refill pads and several spiral notepads, but in my defence when I was searching the house up and down for my empty pads I didn't think of going out into the back garden and searching the shed. After all, why would they be put out there with the garden equipment in the first place?

Also he found a A4 Lever Arch folder which was full of notes, ideas, and partly written stories. Some dating back to 1986 when I was just 15 years old!!

I sat down and finally came to the decision that someone out there was trying to tell me something:

1 - I created a book blog and after letting it drift aimlessly I got the urge to start getting involved with the book blog community actively without any warning.

2 - I became addicted to searching out all the how-to and other books about writing romance/erotica.

3 - After being unable to drag myself away from these samples and referrals I blew my book budget on three titles.

4 - I got the urge to start jotting down, not only notes on my blog but discussions about my own writing.

5 - and lastly I hit the mother lode and found my own work which I hadn't seen in years ...

All of which has happened over the last two weeks.

In my 'idea folder' I had a entire family tree written out for a family saga dating back to 1986 with all characters named, children included. Also found was several half used notepads, some of which had notes for fanfiction which I actively wrote and published online for years.

If all that wasn't a subtle hint from my dear Auntie it's been one heck of a weird coincidence. Either way I'm not ignoring it.

Will this result in me writing my first novel? Who knows, but this blog I hope will chronicle my journey and maybe some of my writing tit-bits, who knows. Not me that's for sure.

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